the courage to be disliked: key takeaways.

Favorite quote: “You are the only one who can change yourself.”

For a chapter-wise summary of this book, you can click here.

The Courage to be Disliked book summary in 3 sentences.

“Do Not Live to Fulfill Others’ Expectations”

The ability to tolerate dislike is part of having the courage to be happy. Your interpersonal relationships will instantly become lighter once you have developed that courage.

“It’s that somebody doesn’t like you. It is evident that you are exercising your freedom, showing that you are living in freedom, and it shows that you are living by your own principles.

The five key takeaways from The Courage to be disliked.

“A healthy sense of inferiority does not result from comparing oneself to others; rather, it results from comparing oneself to one’s ideal self.”

According to Adler, the desire for superiority and the perception of inferiority are not illnesses but rather catalysts for regular, healthy striving and growth. The sense of inferiority can also encourage striving and growth if it is not abused.

One more thing about power struggles. In every instance, no matter how much you might think you are right, try not to criticize the other party on that basis. This is an interpersonal relationship trap that many people fall into.

A stone is powerless. Once it has begun to roll downhill, it will continue to roll until released from the natural laws of gravity and inertia. But we are not stones.

Whenever they come into contact with another person, all they can think is, What will this person give me?

Top 10 lessons from The Courage to be Disliked book.

At this point, “self-acceptance,” “confidence in others,” and “contribution to others” are required.

When you are surrounded by other people, society, and your community but feel profoundly cut off from them, you are lonely.

“Only you have the power to transform yourself.”

“A self-centered lifestyle, in which one’s only concern is with the “I,” is one in which one is constantly troubled by how others perceive them.

“Why do people look for approval from others? It frequently results from the influence of education that uses rewards and punishments.

We all reside in a subjective world that we have given meaning to. None of us live in an objective world. It’s impossible to share your world with anyone else because the world you see is different from the one I see.

Because they are constantly competing with one another, “so many people don’t really feel happy while they’re building up their success in the eyes of society.”

To paraphrase Adler once more, “PHILOSOPHER: The important thing is not what one is born with, but how one uses that equipment.”

“The only thing you can control in your own life is the path you choose to follow.”

“The more one is complimented by someone else, the more one starts to think they don’t have any talent. Please do your best to remember this.”

Action steps from The courage to be disliked.

“Your past or environment cannot be held responsible for your unhappiness. Furthermore, you don’t lack competence. You simply lack bravery. You lack the courage to be happy, one could say.

We are unable to change objective facts. However, one can change subjective interpretations however they please. Additionally, we live in a subjective world.

“No experience is a cause of our success or failure in and of itself. Instead of feeling the shock of our experiences, or so-called trauma, we make whatever we need out of them. Our experiences do not define who we are; however, the meaning we assign to them does.

“If one truly believes in themselves, they don’t feel the need to brag. One boasts because they have a strong sense of inferiority.

What has happened in your life thus far shouldn’t affect how you live going forward; you, who are living in the present, are the one who makes your own decisions.

Your life is something you choose, not something that someone else gives you. You are the one who decides how you live.

“One will never be able to fully commit to one’s own way of living unless one is unconcerned by other people’s opinions, has no fear of being despised by others, and pays the price that one might never be recognized. In other words, it will be impossible to be free.

Thank you for your time.