1-page free summary of How to win friends and influence people.

Favorite quote: “Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.”

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From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others – yes, and a lot less dangerous. ‘Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof,’ said Confucious, ‘when your own doorstep is unclean.’

Let us try to understand people rather than condemn them. Let us try to figure out why they behave the way they do. That is far more profitable and interesting than criticism, and it fosters sympathy, tolerance, and kindness. ‘To know everything is to forgive everything.’

Keep in mind this rule if you want people to like you, if you want to make genuine friends, and if you want to help others while also helping yourself.

Rule: Show genuine interest in other people.

Not only kings and business executives should value the value of remembering and using names. We are all able to use it.

Keep in mind that a person’s name is the sweetest and most significant sound in any language to that person.

Listen carefully. Encourage others to share their stories.

Discuss the interests of the other person.

Genuinely make the other person feel important.

Basically, persuade people to adopt your way of thinking.

Avoiding an argument is the only way to win one.

Respect other people’s viewpoints. Never tell someone they’re wrong.

Admit your mistakes as soon as possible and vehemently.

Make a good first impression.

Immediately elicit a “yes, yes” from the other person.

Give the other person a lot of the talking to do.

Give the other person the impression that the idea is their own.

Make an honest effort to consider other people’s perspectives.

Show empathy for the thoughts and desires of others.

Invoke your nobler intentions.

Make your ideas dramatic.

Put forth a test.

A leader’s duties frequently include influencing the attitudes and behaviors of their followers. Here are some ideas for achieving this:

PRINCIPLE 1 Start by praising and appreciating something.

PRINCIPLE 2 Indirectly draw attention to people’s errors.

PRINCIPLE 3 Address your own errors before criticizing others.

PRINCIPLE 4 Rather than giving orders directly, pose questions.

PRINCIPLE 5 Let the other person keep their face.

PRINCIPLE 6 Give positive feedback on even the smallest advancements. “Be hearty in your approval and lavish in your praise,” the Bible says.

PRINCIPLE 7: Set a high standard for the other person to live up to.

PRINCIPLE 8: Be supportive. Make it appear simple to fix the issue.

Principle 9: Encourage the other person to take the action you recommend.

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